I have in my mind, a collection of some of the all time worst kitchen appliances. It amazes me that people come up with this stuff and furthermore, that other people buy them.
1. The Inside the Shell Egg Scrambler.
This wonder is brought to you from Ronco, makers of fine proucts usually sold on very late night TV. This is what it does:
place an egg on the slanted needle, push through the shell, and then press down. The needle whips the egg into a perfectly smooth blend!That's it. You still have to break the egg open. For $25 plus shipping and handeling, you can this counter clutter do what a bowl and fork (or whisk) do for free.
2. Margarator Maragarita and Frozen Drink Machine.
This machine at $99 plus S/H will make Maragaritas and other frozen drinks. It is not able to be used for any other purpose. Now, I don't drink alcohol, but my understanding is that the rest of the world who haven't bought this amazing bit of technology use a blender. Wow! A blender that can be used for other things, other mixing. I never see them use the Margarator on Iron Chef, but I do see them use the blender a lot. You decide.
3. For $16 you can get the OctoDog!
This item will take a regular hotdog and after application, will make it look like an octopus. Hmmm. I think you can do this with a regular knife. And, after the initial, "That is so cool, Mom" factor of an 8 year boy, how often are you going to make octopus hotdogs? Your next gourmet appetizer at your bridge dinner?
4. Remember how Mom and Dad used to make pancakes into shapes... easy ones like Micky Mouse head or sometimes a cat. Well, there is an easier way to do pancakes and eggs into shapes. And what shape do we ALL want at breakfast?
GUNS!
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I am sure that there are some households where gun-shaped eggs and pancakes are teaching all the right messages, but my mind draws a blank short of drug dealers and gun runners. This educational shape will set you back $7.
5 My newest favorite is...... Microwave Smore Maker.
No campfire needed for gooey, chocolatey s’mores—just microwave for 30 seconds! Microwave cooker heats graham crackers, marshmallows and chocolate evenly at once; simply add water and assemble up to two s’mores.
To me, smores are sickeningly sweet deals that you make only when there is a campfire and you are outdoors. There is an art to browning your marshmallow without turning it into a tiki torch, snitching some chocolate before the assembly stage and then burning your tongue on the result.
This is NOT something that should be done in a microwave. The marshmallows don't even brown -- or burn!
You are going to pay around $10 plus the s/h for something you may use once or twice and then tuck back into the darkest rescess of the lowest cabinet, afterwhich you will never remember where you put it until you move to another house, digging it up like some archaelogical artifact? Bite me.
These are just 5 of the many kitchen "wonders" and "time saving" devices that litter our world.
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Comments (2)
Wait, there's something you can do with marshmallows BESIDES make them into tiki torches? What else are they for?
I'd seen most of those before, in the piles of catalogs I get in the mail, but I had never seen the gun egg shaper!! I WANT ONE!!!